I havent written here since August. Im in a state that I cant really budge. Its not my fault. Im human. Im a woman. And I have emotions. Lately my emotions have been going crazy on its own. I feel low alot and able to communicate much. Now, everyone says this should be the happiest time for me. I mean, I got 2 weekd left till I see Greg, Gregs about to graduate, and we get to go to Miami for a whole week, alone on our honeymoon to fuck like bunnies. Yes..Im very stoked about that. But that moment isnt here yet. Im still in a class that im a re re in. I want to be held and touched and I cant have that. I dont feel up to anything. I dont want to drive. I almost dont want to breathe. I sleep all the time and latley thoose sleeps accompanied me some bad headaches. The bottom line is im ready for Greg to come home. His letters are amazing and hes doin so well. Hes the head of his Platoon and hes qualified for everything. I get at least one letter a week, and i dont want to bring him down by telling him that im so depressed. I cant knock him off his track with my emotions. Hes doing so well.
Me on the other hand..feel so dead. Rose says to me im going the oppisette way with my emotions which is fuckin true. September; when he left i was fine, i didnt even cry. October; I started to miss him bet it wasnt anything I couldnt handle. November; I feel like im bought to rip my hair out. I miss sex. I spent 3 years having constant sex with the same guy! And its hard. But......I gotta get use to it. Greg will probley be gone six to eight months when i finally move in with him where ever hes stationed. But i hear the first time leaving is always hard...I miss him...I just want him to come home, so i dont have to rely on little things. I want to stop seeing him in my dreams and start seeing him more by my side....
I love him alot. I miss him dearly.
Untill then, I hjave to get OUT of bed and live....this sucks, but ima be strong. p.s...Jackie, love ya hun. Always gotta shout out my love.
and fuck gas prices....